What’s the lesson of The Swan?

May 24, 2004 | Rants and Raves | By: Mark VandeWettering

Allright, I admit it. I watch lots of crap “reality” television shows. None do I find more disturbing than The Swan.

The recipe of The Swan seems to be:

  1. Find 18 really depressed women who are having problems in their relationships.
  2. Drag them out of their lives for three months.
  3. Spend tens of thousands of dollars on every conceivable operation.
  4. Put them into a beauty contest to confirm the fact that it really is their outer beauty which is important.

Is this a good lesson to send to women? That you’d really be a lot happier if you were prettier? That self esteem is something that you put in with a knife? That your husband wouldn’t cheat on you if you had bigger boobs or straighter teeth?

By all means, if you want to get your nose straightened, or your teeth done, or your breasts enhanced, go right ahead. But try to do so with your eyes open. The husband that cheated on you before your breasts were big is probably going to do it again after. That’s because guys cheat on wives, not on breasts.

Want to change your life? Just do it. Get some sleep. Eat better. Exercise. Don’t let people treat you like crap. If you do all those things, then perhaps you should worry about getting the boob job.

As my wife said, you want a better lesson? Try watching Shrek again. Even if you are a green flatulent ogre, there is somebody out there who will treat you nice and make you happy.