Burger King Corporation Threatens Those Who Return Sponge Bob

It seems that large inflatable SpongeBob Squarepants figures have been hot items in the world of petty theft. People are apparently stealing them from rooftops in significant numbers. Perhaps sending the wrong message, Burger King Corporation has been threatening those responsible for their return with a years supply of Whoppers.

A Whopper of course is about 700 calories, 370 of which come from fat. You can trim about 160 of that off by leaving off mayonaise, but you can leave 700 off by driving past, and then use that 700 to at something which is much better for you (or at least tastes better).

I shudder to think back of the day when I’d pound two of those back with fries and a large shake for lunch.

2 thoughts on “Burger King Corporation Threatens Those Who Return Sponge Bob

  1. Chad

    I don’t think I’ve ever once had a Whopper. Kind of like I’ve never had a Big Mac. Weird.

    Editor’s note: That’s kind of creepy. I suppose you don’t own a television either?

    It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

    — Abraham Lincoln

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