No Wii for Mii

Well, one of the many Wii locator websites suggested that area Target stores might get them in today, but alas: it was not to be (bii?). It’s just as well. I came up with the following top ten reasons I don’t need a Wii.

  1. No need to setup protective batting cage around the plasma TV.
  2. Ouch!

  3. No annoying explanations to the cops that you didn’t beat your wife, you just clocked her in the eye with the Wiimote while you were drunk and playing Zelda.
  4. No Wii tennis elbow.
  5. Eighty hours of life that would have been spent playing Twilight Princess recovered for more productive use.
  6. Would not want to depress Sony and Microsoft over the Christmas holiday.
  7. The Wii doesn’t have all the latest expensive hardware in it. Think of all the people at Intel who are working hard at developing faster processors, which the Wii simply turns its nose at.
  8. No Mario game at launch. No Starfox. No Metroid.
  9. Other game consoles generate enough heat to keep your game room warm during these long winter nights. Wii doesn’t make a very good space heater.
  10. All that flailing around looks a lot like exercise. I want to play video games, not exercise!
  11. The name. Need I say more?

Okay, I know, it’s just sour grapes, but still.

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