Movie Reviews in One Line
I’ve seen a bunch of movies lately. Rather than give details of each, I just thought I’d give a single line review of each.
Iron Man: I was wildly entertained, but inexplicably couldn’t tell you why afterwards, other than to say that Robert Downey Jr. is great onscreen.
Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian: Snoozefest, lots of shots of people walking in front of CG imagery.
Speed Racer: Underrated, yes, lots of visuals, but enough story to make it tolerable.
Fido: A funny, quirky movie which answers the question “what if Ward and June Cleaver owned a pet zombie?”
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: Not genuinely bad, but pales by comparison to the original three, keep expectations low (think “National Treasure” rather than “Raiders”) and you might have fun.
The new A&E remake of The Andromeda Strain: Every element added to the original blew chunks, a catastrophe of a script, ludicrous beyond the measure of things. It needs a second line to describe just how mind numbingly terrible it was. Or even a third. Did you guys have writers? Really? The tagline is “It’s a bad day to be human”, but it should have been “It’s a bad day to remake Andromeda Strain”.