brainwagon

Or does it?

It’s not like gravity attracting bodies together. It’s not a force of nature. It’s something that we all have to work toward together, because the moral universe is something we can only create collectively. Prosperity does not come at the expense of others. Freedom does not come when we deny it to others.

Life need not be a zero sum game.

I turned sixty this year. The Social Security longevity tables predicts that I’ll live to eighty two. I keep hoping that I’ll see some sign of that arc to trend toward justice, and while I think there have been some positives, I can’t help but feel like there have been at least as many downturns.

I don’t want to be the negative guy. But I also want to be the guy who looks at a world where prejudice, racism and sexism are fading anachronisms, not tools for political success. I would like to see people receive the health care they need, and kids receive food and education. I’d like to see people marry who they love, be recognized for who they are, and where they can make decisions about their own bodies.

The great tragedy of all this is that the path that the American electorate has put all of us on will not make groceries more affordable, or ensure prosperity or health. It will do the opposite. The notion that government is the enemy will become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and will be devilishly hard to reverse.

I don’t think that I will live to see it.

I’m exhausted by hoping for it. I’m exhausted by disappointment.

I do not want to write with skepticism or depression. But that is where i am at today, and where I have been for the better part of the last decade. Just a long, straight road, leading toward darkness, with no way to turn around, and no exits.

I hope tomorrow I feel better. After getting laid off from the job I’ve proudly and happily done for over three decades, I’m trying to figure out what my third act will be. I would like to think that there is something that will grant me some relief from the malaise that has been the dominant theme of this year.

Even as I write this, I can’t help but feel that it is overly self indulgent. There have been many things this year that were awesome. My sixthieth birthday aboard a cruise with my wife, my sister, sister-in-law, and best friend was great. I traveled to Mexico to see a total eclipse, a sight which was so moving it left me speechless. I’ll soon be travelling to see my son and his family for Thanksgiving. Both Carmen and I are pretty healthy (if somewhat prone to anxiety eating).

If someone has some optimism they’d like to share (or a job or project that you think I might find fulfilling) feel free to reach out to me at mvandewettering at gmail.com or via Facebook or Mastodon. And frankly, if there is something that you think I can do for you, either encouragement, knowledge or what little wisdom I possess, also feel free to reach out.

I’ve got a fair amount of free time at the moment.